Aaron Han

2011-09-16T19:20:00.002+08:00

Very soon, I will close down my blog and twitter account. It's pointless each time I want to tweet or blog, I will have to restrict myself on what to say.

Losing myself for being so selfless.

2011-09-12T22:58:00.001+08:00

Well, Somehow I have to eat it up no matter how miserable it may be ..

2011-09-05T22:52:00.001+08:00

Don't always be late in replying me, be unresponsive and when I do it my way, find fault with me. I don't like it.

2011-08-29T20:34:00.001+08:00

Love my girl ♥

2011-08-25T21:50:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, those people who text me and expect a reply from me when they don't reply my messages. Entertaining ? Thanks.

2011-08-22T21:24:00.001+08:00

Give me a reason to smile, from my heart ...

2011-08-21T19:25:00.002+08:00

Nose kind of block, Throat kind of itch, having slight flu, I think I am falling sick.

I have a lot of thoughts running through my mind, life is kind of stress. I realised I have quieten down a lot, no more shout outs on twitter, no more happenings on FB, lesser and shorter blog post. Something is stopping me from twitter and I don't like it. Kind of keep a lot of things to myself now which is not goooood !

2011-08-16T22:53:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, had our last training before exams starts and I got myself injured and something happened that make me a little unhappy , I think this is the most serious injury I have, my pinky finger and it is swelling and hurt so bad. =(

Didn't wanted to go for the training initially but still went and it happens. Something unpleasant always happened to me when I didn't want to go for the particular thing.

Exam starts next week and I barely had time to study, I think this week is the time that I have to really sit down and revise my work, my result for the first round of test is so .... second round was better, now that the weightage for the upcoming one is higher, I ought to do better !

2011-08-11T23:24:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, my silence is my loudest cry,
Sometimes, I kept quiet when I have so much to say,
Sometimes, it still hurts when you tried not to care so much,
Sometimes, I live a life to please others and it gets really tired,
Sometimes, I just need someone to give a pat on my back and say "Press on!"
Sometimes, I just wonder why.

Now, I don't have motivation to do anything. Everyday seems like a struggle to me, struggle to wake up, struggle to wait for nightfall and to sleep again. The routine just repeat itself and I always hope to have something to look forward to, when I wake up for that day ...

2011-08-09T20:05:00.001+08:00

2011-08-07T00:15:00.001+08:00

2011-08-05T11:57:00.001+08:00

Contains Horse Language but it's time to have a good laugh =P

2011-08-04T15:04:00.005+08:00

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2011-08-04T12:10:00.001+08:00

I feel like giving up everything, what's the point of trying so hard ='(

2011-08-03T00:33:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, I choose not to say or voice out because the more you say, the more wrong it will be and knowing things wouldn't change for the better. Sometimes, I am quiet because of this reason.

Do you realise ... I don't tweet any more? I don't like to get scolded because I vet my unhappiness or frustrations, that's not the point ...

I remove my status over and over again. It just the war within myself, damn it =(

2011-07-28T22:13:00.004+08:00

I am starting to dislike RP system, actually all along I am. Today, I got the daily grade for class on Monday, I was expecting an A and I got a C . I was so disappointed and piss because I spend so much effort doing the RJ and the comments given was so judgemental.

I didn't even use Facebook in class and probably faci saw the tab. But I was really working on what I am suppose to do. Come to think of it, maybe I wasn't able to answer his bombardment of questions .

Today, another module, I seriously dislike the team and well, they may say I didn't contribute or put in the effort to discuss, but they are in their own world, how to intrude into theirs? For 3 weeks, I didn't present and yet faci didn't realise it. Every time, I tried so hard but who bothers. I have another similar problem working with the other team in another class because facilitator separated me only from my very own team which is made up of my classmates then place me to work with other people and expect me to be on par.

When I see there's no point explaining things, I wouldn't even try because in the past, I tried. I explain. I lost. What's the point? It hit me the hardest when I explained things and yet the same cycle just go back again, in the end, I have to leave the place carrying the guilt even until today.

People are so judgemental, walk through with me and you know it isn't easy. I am quietening down these days, every time I want to tweet, I will backspace everything and swallow it. Every time when I want to say about things, I will swallow it. Every time, when I post something somewhere, after awhile , it will be removed . Because People are so judgemental ....

I just want to have a getaway soon, really soon, from everything, from everybody =( I tried too hard =(

2011-07-25T14:44:00.002+08:00

Doesn't feel so well right now, later having training , if don't meet the standards, going to get scolding again =\

2011-07-25T13:25:00.001+08:00

Restricting myself to tweet ! So much to say, but ...

2011-07-23T00:29:00.001+08:00

I wanted to write a big big paragraph of words ... but well ...

"Don't scold me because I smiled when something is wrong, but start to worry because I will never be smiling during this situations."

2011-07-21T06:18:00.003+08:00

2011-07-21T01:13:00.004+08:00

Don't assume that the one who is there for you will always be there, because when that one get tired of waiting, he/she will leave silently. you really have to show that he/she is not an option to you ...

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2011-07-19T20:39:00.000+08:00

Trust me, I hate myself and I wish one day, I cross the road and the car just bang me to heaven =)

2011-07-19T01:43:00.002+08:00

I wanted to write something here earlier today, but I didn't but now maybe writing it out will feel better and I wouldn't spam twitter time line and I am going to delete all tonight's tweet later =)

I don't know what to say, I don't know who to approach, I don't know what to do, I don't know how to react, I don't know why the heartache, I don't know why ... I just smiled and pretend everything is alright, everything is okay ... I learnt even if I am upset, I have to hide it and comfort the one that hurt you. I managed to do it. =)

But really hope those who scolded me, those who think I am in the wrong. I really really wish that you all think in my perspective, I don't want to elaborate any further ....

I was reading on an article on a recent award ceremony, it's the highest award that can be archived in the organisation I used to belong to. Familiar faces, but came across one guy who I don't like him at all . The words just flashes across my mind ''我不服'' . People may think I am jealous for the award, but no. I am not at all. because I don't give a damn =) As a leader, not only you need to have good relationship with your authority but you also need to earn the respect from your subordinates.

After so much, I am starting to be numb ... SMILE =)

2011-07-17T04:07:00.004+08:00

I want to see the clear blue sky and rainbow!

The week that had just ended isn't that nice after all, but it's over and I hope it ended in peace =)

Every time if I am too tired or busy, a glance in my room will say it all ! I will have no time to tidy up and put them into the right place and it will be all over the place. Took some time off from everything else and tidy up the room. From clothes to bags to notes to paper to everything.

I saw the reference number for my application to the MHA Scholarship which I just got to know that I failed at the start of the week. Disappointed and it's very. Erase it off from my whiteboard.

Mum was tidying my my box of clothes and I saw my BB uniform and it drew alot of thoughts and flashback again. Frankly speaking, when the incident happened, I feel like burning it, why am I still keeping it? I don't know and I never want to know but for now, I really don't want to have anything to do with BB.

One week no training, but my injuries didn't really recovered, both my hands spoil already =(
___________________________________________________________

I don't want to wait for anyone else for my driving lessons because I am always being forgotten ! Aiyo, told me to wait then all forgotten about me, it make me feel like a fool waiting for nothing. Don't forget about me if you asked me to wait. Spare a thought for me okay, so many times it just make me feel like I am taken for granted, do I really have to say it or show it before you all realised ?

Learning how not to be emotional , even if I am. Aaron, you got to hide them now if not you will lose everything ! =)

2011-07-14T14:40:00.002+08:00

My personal little twitter, the dark side ...

2:40pm 14 July 2011
Life is so unfair. Everyone has to go through hardship and ~~it seems that~~ I have to go through more, I wonder why, I asked why, I cried why, but I wouldn't get the answer.

I didn't even present today and facilitator didn't even know, placed in this team, I only have to say, I am on my own. 2 modules like that already. Maybe the problem just lies with me, in everything. I am such a loser ...

Oh well ... All I can do is to smile and say I am fine. I don't want to talk to anybody and getting a respond of me being emotional. Try being in my shoes.

10:00am 14 July 2011
"Viewpoint different", these two words just stays on my mind and don't go off, it just hinder me from doing things that my heart is telling me to ...

1:57pm 13 July 2011
"I am okay" + a smiley face ... A perfect lie ....

9:44pm 12 July 2011
It really hurts and still , I have to fake a front that nothing is happening, this pain is killing me =(

3:00pm 12 July 2011
What if today is my last day and I will be gone tomorrow ...

2:25pm 12 July 2011
I don't want you to change, because I am willing to change for you,to be the one that you have always dream of ...

9:25am 12 July 2011
It's different already, I am really tired but I still have to hold on ...

11:56pm 11 July 2011
I am such a failure. =(

2011-07-11T14:41:00.004+08:00

What Faith Can Do Lyrics

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you're stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

Overcome the odds
You don't have a chance
(That’s what faith can do)
When the world says you can’t
It’ll tell you that you can!

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
That's what faith can do!
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

It was really difficult to start the day with a smile today, you slept crying, you wake up thinking the same thing. School with a perfect smile and an email came spoiling the fake smile. I definitely knew I was holding back my tears, my eyes was teary enough. My heart was so broken, I am discourage and distraught. 5 months of wait to find out you were such a failure. I didn't really broke down yet, I am still staying strong ...

How long more can I hold on, I don't know ... It's getting harder and harder and to know, everything is going back to square one. My weekend wasn't that great, and I didn't say it but now, I think it seriously a "FML" for me...

I should stop tweeting anymore, I cried in class right after this ... I couldn't take it anymore, the broken heart is so hurtful ...

What if tonight was the last night and tomorrow I will be gone ?

2011-07-11T00:14:00.005+08:00

After going through so much this week, I still want to ask... why everybody have to go through hardship but mine seems much more difficult ? Why do I have to go through so much ... why ? So many why, but why it still can't be answered? It's so hard to carry on now. I have learn to fake a smile ...I have so much to say ... so much but I can't say ... Why ...

"Keep strong in Faith, stay strong"
Miracle just happened, silent prayers get answered, that's what faith can do. I need the strength to rise, it's so hard to do anything now..

Tears rolled down tonight again =(

2011-07-09T23:59:00.002+08:00

It's becoming more and more obvious that I am more vulnerable than in the past. I don't know why all those hurtful remarks that I used to be immune and turn it to become a source of motivation hit me so hard this week, maybe it just came not just a few , not just from anyone else but closer friends and a lot ...

Often I told myself to be more understanding and really know the character of each of them, that they are just like that and we as friends, have to accept for who they are. Sometimes, it really hit me so hard that when I needed somebody, I will start to have doubt. Things definitely become clearer. I have been keeping the pain, faking the smile and even today, I have to hold back my tears. It was so hurtful, maybe just have to blame myself for being too sensitive, too fragile.

I think my anger management is just to keep it to myself and vent it all out when I am alone or with my super close friends. Twitter has been so much handy for me to rant. Guess I really have to cut down on it now ...

POL-ITE is finally over, the months of trainings have finally been over. Complicated feelings but what to do .... something for myself to look forward to, is I can go back to running and swimming and gym and so many more things to do. It has been quite awhile since I met my friends for the weekly dinner and I am so guilty for been so busy.

2011-07-06T19:32:00.002+08:00

Taking a break from studies, super long didn't deliberately set time aside just to revise my work. Well, time for a break although it wasn't quite fruitful.

These few days have to put up a lot of nonsense. I wonder why is it me to always to tell myself not to take things to heart of people's passing remarks ? I think people have to be more sensitive to the surroundings about what they are saying and just like that ...

2011-06-30T22:10:00.001+08:00

Opened my RJ and cannot concentrate in working on it. There have been so much things running through my mind now. Struck outside the house right now, because I forgotten to bring my keys out this morning. I couldn’t focus on what I am doing these few days, just so absent-minded. Probably, when you read this, I am already got home.

Things just keep adding on, I refused to open up or share it to anyone. Even if I does, it’s only a minority of it. I don’t know how to open up, I don’t want to reveal my true feeling and affect other people. I don’t know what to do. I think I will just take it all by myself…

Is it because I think too much, I just don’t know … everything is so heavy on me … Maybe even now, you only know partial of it…

I shouldn’t be someone stopping them from somebody pursuing his/her interest, but why this weird feeling =(

2011-06-29T22:31:00.002+08:00

Item : Necklace with Heart-Shaped Garnet Diamond from Citigems
Price: $120 (Negotiable)
Condition : Brand new , never wore before.

Interested party, do contact me okay ? =)

2011-06-18T14:29:00.005+08:00

So much thoughts in my mind but I am so tired to type everything out. These 2 days wasn't so good at all, just being so angry with myself over some things.

It's seems to be my fault every time when I leave things unexplained and I have to carry the blame with me for the rest of my life. I am someone who doesn't like to explain things when it turn out to be your fault. Why? Because I hate to hurt people. Everything just keep coming back, I don't want it at all.

In some places, for some groups of people, I am so known for being the joker but with some people, I am so known as the emo. kid! I am learning how to hide my emotions over again, not to get caught by SOMEBODY !

Every time when I failed to take care of her, I felt so discourage, it's like unable to meet the promise I told myself. Got to learn fast =/

POLITE is just next week and really doesn't like to be injured all the time being so injury-prone. Woke up the other time and my mum told me I was doing some weird actions in the middle of the night, then she show me what I did and I was thinking ... training stress ... I was "attacking" in the middle of the night. SOT !

Oh well, too tired to type everything out~

2011-06-15T02:21:00.005+08:00

A special coin I flip when I really left with no choice but to choose between 2.

Don't wait till you realise someone is gone before you start to cherish. It may be too late already ... at least, show or say something?

Yet another emotional update it going to be. I guess, this is the only space I can "pen" down my thoughts, perhaps due to the reason, I don't like to share about my negative thinking with other people out there.

First, I cut down on FB update and make sure that things I don't want to affect other people get there. Then I went to twitter, hoping nobody will really bother about me. But ah, felt a little uncomfortable updating there now not because of anyone but I guess I shouldn't let so many people know what is really wrong with me !

I guess I am really tired already. Tired of so many things. Looking at the calender now, everyday back to back I have things going on. I see the good side of it, keep myself occupied and no time to spare to think of other things. For the past few days, I felt asleep not by going to bed but while doing things and just BANG ! Even during my test yesterday , I finished the paper so fast, and felt asleep, waking up to realise I left 3 minutes.

Sounded it out to my friend today and he said , 2 weeks ago that Aaron is someone who was so firm at saying you wouldn't give up, 2 weeks ago you said it was 700 over days only and 2 weeks ago ... and 2 weeks ago ...

Many time, people are often conned by the surface of me, cheerful, funny and living my life like there's no tomorrow. Someone to look on to, someone to follow. Deep down in my heart, bottling up so many things, some people definitely was there when it was my breaking point.

I broke down on Sunday during camp closing, because I know, it's the time people are leaving, taking in responsibilities and stuff like this. To my Youth Assembly and Young Leaders Committee Batches, we share our life together and it's amazing how 3 years we have been so close that when we look at each other, we know what's exactly is running through the mind of the other one. I really thank you all so much for the advise you all gave me , HA !

What still strike me most was the question "what do you look for in a girl?" , thanks Kai Wei, you did it but I don't have an answer still for your objective of asking that question ... because Me myself , don't know ah ...

I am really SO TIRED. I have been thinking about it the past few days,everyone have to go through hardships, but it always does seems I have to go through more. I guess, for now, I will never know the answer. =(

Finding the little joy in everything I do.

61 days . 712 days . And still counting =|

2011-06-13T00:47:00.002+08:00

No matter how tired I am now, I would like to take some time off to reflect on some things.

It's about 1 year ago , somewhere during this time, I was the facilitator for Young Leaders Committee 9. 1 year on, 11 June 2011, I see a batch of young fine ladies and gentleman graduating into the Youth Assembly. Watching them grow over the past one year, seeing them through little things really touches me a lot. Time passes really fast when you look back.

Commanding the camp for YLC 10 is really the first challenge for me as the YA chairman. The very first difficult decision that I have to make and struggled was to form the Exco Committee for YLC 10. We had intense discussion over the few nights with many point of views and justifiable points, contradicting each and other. Well, the challenge posted to me as the Camp Commandant wasn't just cutting down on my funny and lame side, in fact to play a more observant role. Against the majority views, I had still decided to take the risk while forming the committee. Without doubts, I decided to make a very unexpected move to push for the chairman role and to push for another person to be in the exco.

Towards the camp closing, I was so emotional, it wasn't been like that the previous years. Tears just went down because of many things running across my mind ever since the morning. As the YLC 10 is officially formed, it marked my 4th year serving in NWCDC. Things will definitely be different when changes is on it's way.

1 year later, I will definitely write a beautiful ending for this YLC because I know, I will walk with them till the end.

Camp ended for now, 1 + 4 days has ended , towards the last 2 nights, I was so tired that I fell asleep while eating and working on the laptop and second night was fall asleep while writing the affirmation cards for them. Fortunately, I didn't do the pen dance or drool on their paper =P The funny part was, I realised I have no fate with hot chocolate ! First glass, I slept and didn't manage to finish it. Second cup , I spilled it while putting it on the floor =(

Alright, I guess the update shall end here if not I will die without sleep soon !

2011-06-10T00:12:00.002+08:00

The feeling of being in the middle of nowhere sucks, seeing no end to things.

Typing everything out and end up backspace again, things you want to say so much and yet you can't . Crying out in the heart but to no one because no one can really help you . Over this period of time, I understand how it means by you have to be in the situation then you can understand it yourself and everybody is facing things differently ... 't

Don't wait till you lost it and finally realise things are gone and it will never be the same again. Because it will be gone, forever. Ahhh , when will you then understand it. =(

2011-06-06T14:10:00.002+08:00

A320 Cockpit

Photo Credits: aviation explorer

2011-06-01T15:45:00.001+08:00

2011-05-27T22:36:00.002+08:00

The pain isn't about the wait, it's about not knowing what to do, where to go, knowing that you can't let go.

When she is busy with her life, I hope I can be there for her. There's nothing much I can do now but after to wait ... aimlessly, they said I did too much but I felt I hasn't do enough. I don't know if that day will come.

My wish now is just that, after she passes this period of being so busy. I will be the person she will be thinking of ... and I guess it's just my wishful thinking ...

I don't want to give up, but it's so hard to carry on...

It has been 2 days ... and yet 2 more days to go and I will know the answer , these 2 days going to pray hard and plan really properly . It must be perfect on Monday. Anxious for the outcome !

Felt so empty and I slept with my phone right on my pillow yesterday, waking up to saw it beside me , I took it and hurry check it. Disappointment.

2011-05-26T13:54:00.004+08:00

Sitting in class , with a MP3 struck in the ears trying to get as much notes into my head as possible. Tears slowly collected in the eyes and biting the lips of mine, trying to hold it back . I did it, but the pain in the heart was so overwhelming.

How to smile when all odds are against you.

2011-05-25T09:53:00.002+08:00

well, a painful run = a medal more cherished?

It's a very painful run already but I hasn't have a thought of stopping. I am so discourage and sad not because the non-acceptance, but is because until the day you truly overcome it . My one greatest hope is for you to let go of your past ...

2011-05-24T16:50:00.002+08:00

You came just like a heart made of glass, broken and shattered into pieces. I can see it in your eyes each time when we meet, something is just unexplainable.

You deserve someone who will go all out just to care for you and heal the heart of yours.

Remember the promise I made to you? I will heal your heart just by putting back each piece one by one. You and I know that it wouldn't be a easy process and it hurts each time when it cut my fingers, it took me so much time just to fix one portion of it. But I know, you are worth it.

You discourage so much by stopping me, asking me to give up. You said things that made me so discourage and reject me so many times but I don't know why I am just unwilling to let go. Maybe, I guess it's just LOVE ...

You're worth the wait, and I hope that when I got hurt, you will be there to stop the bleeding, give a nudge and ask me to hang on. I want to heal the heart of yours. Will you walk this journey with me too?

2011-05-23T11:58:00.002+08:00

I told myself not to tweet , so in the middle of the class, opened up this space to write down my thoughts ...

It's a battle within myself still. I was holding on to the coin that I always use to flip when I am left with 2 choices. To text her or not to ... I didn't flip it in the end cause, I know if the coin told me not to, in the end, I will still ...

I don't know what to text her, I am just staring at the space to type the message and it's a real struggle.

Things are really turf, why am I always struck ... but I know I wouldn't give up ... I wouldn't , I really don't know why am I like this ...

2011-05-22T23:24:00.006+08:00

It has been a very long time since I blog. Things hasn't been going so well for me and I don't have anyone suitable to talk to, and that explained the reason for this update. Went to peek on my previous post and it was talking about the same thing I was pondering about.

I took the usual route home, knowing my legs were so sore after yesterday's run but I didn't want to get home so early. It took me quite some time to got home, reflected on some things I guess I have to get it down some where ...

Yesterday's run was awesome and it was a meaningful one. I remembered one of the objective signing up for run, is to distract myself from the heartbroken experience. Maybe it's just a lie to myself.

25km, I ran and didn't stop at all, I was so consistent. I remembered overtaking so many people, I was so happy about it but I know I am going to suffer for the later part if I am too fast. At near the 10km mark, Hao Ming told me "Aaron you go first" and all I know I am all alone now in this run.

Nobody is pushing you, nobody is beside you and nobody is guiding you.

Moving on and on, I slowly passed the 15km, 18km, 20km and 21km mark. When I saw the 23km, I was about to give up and started walking, but I told myself, I can rest after crossing the finish line, Don't give up.

I started to pick up the speed and I saw the yellow barricades which I know I am reaching the the finishing line. I ran with a faster speed and I said to myself, "I did it , I did it , I did it" and smiled when I crossed the finishing line. I smiled and I was so pleased with myself.

My eyes went a little red and wet when I saw the reply to my text. Yes, it hurts. I don't want to give up, but I don't know how to carry on or perhaps, I couldn't find the strength to carry on. I am someone who fear of rejections and disappointments. But I don't know why, knowing there will still going be rejections and disappointments, I hang on and don't want to let go. Maybe I fallen to deep.

Knowing of your past, I just hope I can be the one who break the wall you have been building in front of you and hide yourself. I want to heal the heart that had been broken by your past. I want be the one to help you gain back your self-confidence, I want be the one that you trust and you trust yourself for.

I don't want to treat you like how I treat others , it's impossible and I am so stupid to agree to you knowing I will fail. "Equal" is too strong a word for me from you. I just can't stop loving you, uncertain of the day I truly touches your heart =(

I don't want you to shed another tear because of your past. But if only, I can open your heart, with mine with a scar. I will wait, I will but it's really very very turf ... my confidence is shaking, it is already . I don't want to give up, I really don't want to give up =(

It's a battle within myself. I just can't find a hydration station for me to recharge myself. I need someone just to tell me, to hang on for the day will come ...

I guess my motivation now is the voices in my mind that is telling me to "wait" and "用平常心等待'' and It's time for me to look back how hard it is I had hang on and not looking forward to how much longer I have to hang on.

To my dearest girl, I promised you already, I will heal your heart, I will. You are worth the wait, yes you are, no matter how hard you want to push me away, I will still go on , go towards you.

2011-03-08T21:57:00.002+08:00

Walking back home after training yesterday, the usual route which i always take is the route to reflect and think through a lot of things. There are a lot of things that were bothering me yesterday, however, Thanks to somebody who made by day by sending me one message , a message of hope !

Spent the earlier half of my day to really go in-dept to the final preparations of the camp this weekend. My passion for events and camps never die out but for this camp, I am really been put to the test without getting enough support.

Like I told many people, my committee is like left alone to die. With the technology getting better each day, push mails are so common that not reading the email is definitely a very bad excuse, furthermore, not replying it. I really want to make this camp happen, successfully and I will ! Things wouldn't go wrong in my hands !

Went for a run earlier just now and didn't managed to complete my planned 15km , did only 10.4km, injured myself during training yesterday and the pain was just there today but somehow just very disappointed ~

2 weeks of holiday have pass and going to spend these 2 weeks down with the camp and next weekend , The Bus.MRT.Walk Challenge(Schools' Edition) 2011 !

2011-03-07T23:41:00.002+08:00

18 years ago, at 8.01am on this day, 7 of March, I was brought into this world, a world filled with challenges...

It should be a happy birthday today, but I guess I am not that happy after all. I guess, I will have to admit it is like the same as the past 5 years, "Just another day"

[No mood to go on, shall continue tomorrow]

2011-03-05T16:45:00.002+08:00

1st part of the 3days celebration had ended which is the HaoMing Birthday Party @ Aloha Changi !

I don't know why, but I remembered crying so hard at once when I had a little too much. Reading back the nonsense I tweet today , I was like AIYO !

Nevertheless, enjoyed the time we spent together !

Tomorrow will be the second part of the chalet ! =)

2011-03-03T23:10:00.000+08:00

Quoted from FB

“I'm the girl.He's the guy.Its either he texts me first or we don't talk at all.”
This is a phrase I see on Twitter so often.
Seriously,if the girl really likes the guy,does this even matter?

I agreed to this very much, I don't like girls who think that guys should take the initiative 100% of the time.

Anyway, I applied for something I always wanted to and dreamed that I will get it one day. Hopefully, I will get through the first stage of application and selected for interview.

Life hasn't been going so well recently, fate isn't standing on my side too. Whatever you hope for it to happened, it just wouldn't follow your wish. It's just like when someone message you that the girl you likes actually left something behind, you took it and asked who does it belongs to knowing that you know whose , but another person just threw it to another guy who then pass to her. You just shattered the chance you have.

I wasn't so quiet about things before...

我真的不想放弃，可是我不懂怎样争取

2011-02-27T22:45:00.004+08:00

End of holiday - week 1

Able to do it! Long distance Cycling @ East Coast, Gym , Running , Swimming , Sun tanning

And Today! The day started pretty well with plans for movies at town, however the 40 minutes bus ride was torturous with a faulty air-conditioning at the second cabin of the bus. Checked on twitter and found out SHG board same bus service and yes, same bus and spent half of the day disturbing her at work =D

Later in the afternoon, went for a run. The longest unplanned run - 15km. My thoughts during the run, I guess can sum up the period of my life that had just passed...

While running along the usual route, somebody happened to overtake me and the words that had been running over and over again in my mind is just , it's so unfair , and "Bu fu" , wo hen bu fu ... Why all this must happened to me when I am not doing it to others. Rejections over and over again ...

Act of stupidity, he can be doing his last few meters or on a short distance run. I shouldn't increase my pace to chase after him. True enough , he turn into the block of flats.

Entertain all these thoughts as I ran through the 15.07km in 1 h 23 mins, timing improve though. I just want to move on and don't think so much, what's gone is over !

I just unlocked my twitter account and kill the thought of locking this space up. I don't want to have 2 face, I have nothing to hide!

Anyway , my legs like knees and my sexy thighs is pretty sore now with these two days of crazy training! Yesterday at East Coast and today while on running , see people kind of training for the Triathlon and the OCBC Cycle coming pretty soon as they ran ran ran and out nowhere, they appeared from the carpark with their expensive bike and gears. I dream to be one of them, to have my own fanciful bike !

It will come true one day, I am sure =)

Prefect by Hedley is kind of meaningful ?

2011-02-23T00:43:00.003+08:00

Didn't plan to have an update today, I can't seems to sleep immediately no matter how tired am I nowadays. There's a lot of things running in my mind.

I like to use phrases like "My place, my space, my twitter, my FB account, my blog - I can say whatever I like" but I will still be cautious and responsible of what I say. From time to time, definitely, we will face opposition and disagreements and even anger of whatever we had said.

I just don't want to fight anymore, whoever is unhappy with what I said, there's nothing I can do but some measures to take and have taken is that I have no longer update on FB as my FB network is quite big, but I am still very active in Twitter.

However, Twitter is still an open account. I did consider to lock it, like now. But ... nevermind...

Let today be a brand new day of overcoming some issues in life. Day 1. I need to get over it fast, so much negative thoughts , so much for me to take it ...

This update can be so much aggressive, I contain it myself, I don't want to say so much already.

So much thoughts and I have no place to jot it down, so much words and I have nobody to talk to currently. Type out and backspace for countless time, for what and why ... why did it become like that. I am so not used to myself now. I am not somebody like that...

I can't be bothered to lock this up.

My limit, over. Gone, too far. Numb already, close off from the world. The key to my heart is for someone who bothers to find it. Bye.

2011-02-19T23:23:00.002+08:00

This will keep my 2 months fruitful

Ah Jon's Birthday @ Aston Specialist

Just finished my work not long ago, and here am I giving you the latest updates about Aaron's Life !

Time now is ... Party time ! Because exam is over and I have a long list of reasons, why I should enjoy this holiday! UT had ended, that means end of Year 1 life! Going to poly, time pass like the fast only ! This UT is the most "memorable" one when I was so worried I have to retake the maths module all over again, spending 15 more weeks just for that module. Many times, when the results are out and it is bad, everybody will blame the students themselves but look at the one teaching also! I don't believe in asking back questions when somebody ask you question about MATHS ! LIKE HOW ?! Ok, nvm , it's over !

Paper UT on Friday and it was awesome, Engineering Design, this time round , a little tedious especially when it is testing theory and you have to write and write. At one point of time, my laptop mouse pad just become very insensitive and the cursor was moving up and down like it just took drugs and I was like "OH shit, I still have half of the paper to go, don't do this to me!" After awhile, it become ok, like HENG ah !

I don't usually discuss work on the net but this time, something that really pushes me to the limit is how people communicate though emails. Although I am still learning and practicing, I know I am in no position to pin point mistakes but everyone should know the very basic, the fundamental of the process of writing emails to sending it out, of what you are trying to communicate to the other side of the line. I guess, is my professionalism that is angry about all this issues.

Conditioning my body this holiday, SPORTS! And, going to change to a new working environment, provided I get through the interview! To that , END !

Fragile heart had already shattered into countless pieces, it take time to piece it back and somebody got to do the job.
Lonely or being alone ? My thoughts, My choice. Think positive, but how ?

2011-02-16T20:42:00.006+08:00

My timing for running is getting better and distance is getting longer =)

Exam period now in RP, I am done with Maths and Physics, the 2 top killer paper and I survived, very much thanks to the excel calculator DK shared with us and for physics, I have studied pretty well and hard. 2 more papers to go and it will be 2 months with no classes!

This period of time, I am very firm not to touch other stuff and work I have with other places. I will just push it away cause I very much know if I don't get enough time for my studies, my grade cannot make it then I will be all alone very much bearing the responsibilities all by myself. Especially for maths this time round, I can't afford to failed! Serving NS in 2013 and 2014 is a year difference! Extra 15 weeks just for one module is YKR ! =D

I am craving for sports especially outdoor + water sports!

The period of hurt is over, getting back on life again, I guess...

2011-02-08T21:12:00.003+08:00

I will be reopening this blog, I think no point to keep it locked. After the incident, I have kept twitter and FB quiet for awhile, when I decided to start twitter again I tell myself to be careful of what I share on the internet. But sometimes, when we have fun together, we tend to forget our position and, thus get into trouble.

I don't like to be controlled and watch over, who likes? I have a lot of circle of friends and I am just myself everywhere I go. I find it no point to behave exceptionally good during interaction with certain group of people.

Went for a run just now, and every time i go for longer distance run, there's always something or somebody interesting. Today is no exception. There's this girl who I have ran across her twice. Then it started to rain very heavily and I decided to take shelter at the bus stop, and it was fulled of guys, I don't know where they came from, sitting at a corner was this young girl and I felt very unsafe for her ! But never mind, she was safe after all . =)

It was still raining very heavily and the girl ran pass the bus stop in the heavy rain. I will admire her character! Hope to see her next time! HA !

Past few days, I went to her blog again. I admit i still can't get over her but she is happily talking about another guy already. A lot of things just run through my mind, and I listened to the song below, repeatedly over and over again today even during my run. For the first time, I listen to song and is just this one song that deepen my mood. 2 months already, I still can't move on ... For now , I am very sensitive to goodbyes , very. I told myself to think positivity and yet the harder you want to forget, the harder it is to forget.

I very much know, someone want to get to me over this person, I thought what for. I was very angry with his intention and I just want to say ... You should be fortunate to have her as your friend, when I have nothing, I have nobody, so be satisfied ....

我们都有第一次，第一次谈恋爱，第一次比赛，虽然第一次可能不是很好，可是我希望, 我也相信，第二次一定会比第一次还好...

可是大家都不懂的是 ....

我还没忘了我难过的第一次...

I'm sorry for making you love me and saying goodbye ... sorry love, for wasting your time

2011-02-08T12:35:00.000+08:00

Sorry That I Loved You

-Anthony Neely

For all of the time that I tried for your smile
For making you think that I was worth the while
So your love love love love love would be mine
For sending you flowers and holding your hand
That no one was there to take a stand
But then love love love made us blind

And I'm so sorry that I hurt you
Sorry that I fell through
Sorry I was falling in love with you
I'm sorry that it came true
But sorry doesn't turn back time
For all that I have done to you
I wish that I could make it right
So sorry that I loved you
Sorry that I needed you
Sorry that I held you tight

And I'm sorry for making you love me and saying goodbye
For being the one that taught you how to cry
It was love love love and it passed us by
For giving you everything that you dreamed
For taking it back when I fled the scene
Sorry love, for wasting your time

And I'm so sorry that I hurt you
Sorry that I fell through
Sorry I was falling in love with you
I'm sorry that it came true
But sorry doesn't turn back time
For all that I have done to you
I wish that I could make it right
So sorry that I loved you
Sorry that I needed you
sorry that I held you tight

An apology now after all of this time
Won't make any difference tonight
But I'm hoping 'I'm sorry' will open your mind
To love love love, Love in your life

Sorry that I hurt you
Sorry that I fell through
Sorry I was falling in love with you
I'm sorry that it came true
But sorry doesn't turn back time
For all that I have done to you
I wish that I could make it right
So sorry that I hurt you
Sorry that I fell through
Sorry I was falling in love with you

I'm sorry that it came true
But sorry doesn't turn back time
I'm sorry that I loved you
Sorry that I hurt you
I'm so sorry that I loved you
I'm so sorry that I hurt you
Sorry that I loved you

2011-01-30T22:32:00.003+08:00

It's human nature that don't always look at the positive things you done and give credits for it, but once you did something wrong, you get it almost immediately. It happened to me that's why there is no more updates in my facebook or twitter and I had lock my blog. I don't know when I will be reopening it again. Sometimes I vent my anger on the net is I don't want to do that in reality and I felt it is kind of a good anger management.

Times when I am down and it is reflected on the net, there is no support I will get but when you vent anger, Bang Bang . Sometimes, you just have to face it yourself.

The week sums up quite simply, got to know that someone wants to file a report against me for my actions during BBSG last year, a month ago. I have to write a report, longest piece of document I have to write for a long time and submit too. Other than that, still struggling to forget somebody.

2011-01-25T22:45:00.002+08:00

It's nearly two months ever since she said goodbye to me. At first, it didn't hit me so hard until the Sunday that had just past when I don't know why i made the decision to go her blog. I broke down, after going through her blog, my heart was so sour.

I was sick then and it affected me so much that I was affected for my studies the past 2 days. I have to admit, I still can't get over her. She was my first love, i would say. First time being so courageous in doing so many things, saying so much... just for a girl.

I felt unfair after all, to her it may be all my fault. It just that I don't want to say much anymore. I have a phobia to fall in love again, to pick up my courage and move on.

Love is a funny thing, isn't it ?

Coincidentally, i met her today when my mood was so high this morning and she walk pass me along the same corridor and in the afternoon, I know i have to see her ex that asking to patch with her and she was confused. Shall say no more.

It came down all today, a group of people, which so coincidentally come from the same school of that girl and guy , wanting to file a report against me. All I said was, "Go Ahead."

To me, I was doing the right thing at the point of incident , standing on my principles and what was suppose to be done. I always know, A good leader always have opposition and I have been through that. For now, I want nothing but my justice back. I don't care what rank you are, as long as you did something wrong, you answer for it and not wanting to file a report. Since you don't want the case to close so easily, and want to mark me down so much, I wouldn't LLST !

2011-01-24T12:57:00.000+08:00

Have You Ever lyrics
- WestLife

Have you ever loved somebody so much, it makes you cry?
Have you ever needed something so bad, you can?t sleep at night?
Have you ever tried to find the words but they don?t come out right?
Have you ever? Have you ever?

Have you ever been in love, in love so bad?
You?d do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away?
You?d give anything to make them feel the same

Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart?
But you don?t know what to say and you don?t know where to start

Have you ever loved somebody so much, it makes you cry?
Have you ever needed something so bad, you can?t sleep at night?
Have you ever tried to find the words but they don?t come out right?
Have you ever? Have you ever?

Have you ever found the one you've dreamed of all your life?
You?d do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find the one won't give their heart to you?

Have you ever closed your eyes and dreamed that they were there?
And all you can do is wait for the day that they will care

Have you ever loved somebody so much, it makes you cry?
Have you ever needed something so bad, you can?t sleep at night?
Have you ever tried to find the words but they don?t come out right?
Have you ever? Have you ever?

What do I gotta do to get you in my arms, baby?
What do I gotta say to get to your heart?
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world ?cause, baby, I can't sleep

Have you ever loved somebody so much, it makes you cry?
Have you ever needed something so bad, you can?t sleep at night?
Have you ever tried to find the words but they don?t come out right?
Have you ever?

Have you ever loved somebody so much, it makes you cry?
Have you ever needed something so bad, you can?t sleep at night?
Have you ever tried to find the words but they don?t come out right?
Have you ever? Have you ever? Have you ever?

2011-01-24T00:01:00.003+08:00

Password Locked Post

2011-01-21T21:29:00.002+08:00

I just completed my 250 words RJ and I like the feeling of completing the what-is-supposed-to-be done-after-class-everyday thingy on Friday because it will be weekend !

Today was formal day, yes, on a Friday. The day didn't start out quite well for me as lift broke down so I climbed the stairs and someone vomited and it doesn't smell nice and walking down the road, happened to me for the first time, the garbage truck went pass when i wanted to cross the road. I wonder what bad things would happened to me later the day and lucky not much big issues.

Presentation was so formal and the atmosphere was tensed, everyone was just so formal. HA ! Maybe because of the camera that was set up in the classroom capturing down the whole process.

This week, gastric pain has silently came into me! Went for a swim just now and because of that, cut down planned hour of swim to 45 minutes, the pain was just unbearable. UT 2 had also ended and I had mentally prepared it's not going to be great this time. This Semester is just not for me, I am immune to my daily grade of B and C and my objective of going to school now is not for the grade anymore but for the attendance. Facilitators sometimes are just blind and bias or maybe unfair. First C for my Engineering Design module was given by a relive facilitator who doesn't understand us at all. My maths, I am just used to it already... let's not talk about academic wise.

I caught this on FB today "喜欢一个人，一定要让对方知道。也许得不到答案，至少你努力过，不必后悔。" The thing is ... I still haven't get over her yet while she is already thinking of other guys, how cool is that.

2011-01-14T21:53:00.002+08:00

For the past few days, I believe my character was being tested and pushed to the extreme, at the verge of breaking down. Facebook, twitter and blog is the only platform for me to vent my anger. Of course when you are angry, you will be using words without care. Often, this incident I will get shot down immediately. That's explain password locked posts and meeting friends more often and just be yourself where you can say all you want.

Looking through the tweets and updates ...

"I begin to doubt myself for the leadership qualities I have after today's incident. What's the meaning behind what I am doing?"

I think I shouldn't elaborate on that, no point.

"For those people who don't reply messages fall under one category, they are not interested. Yes, I can't be bothered with them in the future too. "

I just can't understand why people don't want to respond or reply to you especially when you are in need. I can't be bothered with these people anymore and is not about if you are interested or not but is about basic courtesy that a yes or no should be given. I HATE this man. They just seems to get out of my life, I have decided to get out of their life, thumbs up for me ? For that to happen, I will be MIA-ing. One of the thing that was made at the start of the year was to tone down. I am so going to use that as my excuse and not going to explain why.

"Don't try to be like me , cause you will never be like me ..."

I am unique, I have my own style and ways of doing things, don't try to intimate me.

To be frank, I guess I have yet to over it yet. I don't know why but from time to time, she will come to my mind, I just felt it so unfair to me, so unfair. I didn't voice out about it at all until today. I chose not to go to her blog ever again, after that day, manage to do it still. Looking at couples walking down the street, being so sweet. You will never understand until you been through it...

There are two songs the describe my feelings, one of it is this and another I will share most probably in the next few days ...

Lyrics to When You Look Me In The Eyes

If the heart is always searching,
Can you ever find a home?
I've been looking for that someone,
I'll never make it on my own.
Dreams can't take the place of loving you,
There's gotta be a million reasons why it's true

When you look me in the eyes,
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find my paradise,
When you look me in the eyes.

How long will I be waiting,
To be with you again
Gonna tell you that I love you,
In the best way that I can.
I can't take a day without you here,
You're the light that makes my darkness disappear.

When you look me in the eyes,
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find my paradise,
When you look me in the eyes.

More and more, I start to realize,
I can reach my tomorrow,
I can hold my head high,
And it's all because you're by my side.

When you look me in the eyes,
And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When I hold you in my arms
I know that it's forever
I just gotta let you know
I never wanna let you go

Cause when you look me in the eyes.

And tell me that you love me.
Everything's alright,
When you're right here by my side.
When you look me in the eyes,
I catch a glimpse of heaven.
I find my paradise,
When you look me in the eyes.
Oh

2011-01-11T22:43:00.003+08:00

Going to turn in soon because I slept at 3am and woke up at 6.30am this morning!

However, let's reflect the chain of events that happened today ...

Woke up in the morning and was having so much difficulty keeping awake when the weather is awesomely perfect for hiding under the comforter.
School ended at 3.30pm , went back to secondary school
Instructions wasn't executed again
Work was unable to complete on time due to this and delays from lightning alerts
Got really pissed off but kept my anger to myself, was amused by myself , my tolerance level was like - 100 % !
Exam tomorrow ! But not going to revise anymore , stomachache =(

2011-01-09T22:36:00.002+08:00

Take a look at RP from Google Maps!

Set aside today to revise Maths UT, but opening 6P and start to look through , it's so alien! I have never like PBL with Maths and furthermore with my current class , it's not the same old way when everybody is helping those who are weaker. Most of them are just counting their As everyday.

Totally given up on Maths already, just go in 2moro and just see how it goes ...

Today this thought just strike me ... again ?

"Never try, never know but once you try and it fails the scar will be with your forever, that's the scar I have been carrying after she say goodbye to me ... A barrier that has yet to be broken ..."

2011-01-04T01:41:00.002+08:00

Password Locked Post=)

2011-01-04T01:33:00.000+08:00

I am blogging from my blackberry on bed! I shall not tweet, I shall not share. Blog! I guess 2011 is the year of transformation for me, I am going to tone down not just abit but to someone who only stays with the clique and not explore around making new friends. I guess is time for me, myself and I, but that does not mean I am going to switch off from the world or be selfish, it's been sometime since I think just for myself?

2011-01-02T23:05:00.002+08:00

The New Year Day - Sunset in the rain

I spent my New Year Day resting for the year! Had a great countdown at Marina Bay Sands with a tree in our way for the fireworks =.= But, whatever it is, This was the best countdown I ever have =)

A new year is ahead of us, let's face it positively and look forward to 31 December 2011, this year will be great, I am going to move ahead with my plans that if it succeed, it will change my life! Shall not reveal anything yet, I am and will not make any wishes about study cause that is like so TYS ! Nevertheless, I hope I will be better each day, with projects to come. Let's do it!

2010-12-31T14:53:00.007+08:00

Batam Trip 2010

It's a Christmas Tree made of Tissue Paper!

We have come to the last day of 2010 !

I spent my last 2 weeks of the year being a volunteer at the BBSG as the Warehouse IC and the OIC on the last day. The experience was great being part of the Primers Ops team. I learned a lot from the officers of the project and know better on how to handle issues involving higher ranking people than me and much more things ! I also had the chance to operate the pallet jack and look at the photo of my gloves, imagine that was my hand !

I was dead tired but was very please to have mission accomplished except on the day that trouble makers came. I want to make some things clear that if you are suggesting something, watch your tone and body language. Very much , I see it as a confrontation and not a suggestion, not only to me, but people around me see it too.

No use clearing the air after the confrontation as you already made people bad mood and i vent my anger in the internet only to be shot down. But good thing is I swallow my anger to prevent a fight, but I will like to remind all leaders out there to respect the organsing committee or people running the events, their decision and to keep quiet or raise it up after the event, and not trying to pick a fight when you don't know a single thing.

After my shift ended which we worked late into wee hours, I went over to the Fajar Leadership Program Camp. Every time running a camp is a learning experience but I especially want to share on 2 major activities that strikes me the most which is the Amazing Race and the Dialogue in the Dark @ Ngee Ann Polytechnic.

Amazing Race on 29 December 2010 had to be called off due to unfavorable weather conditions, but it may also be a blessing in disguise as it cover up the flaws we had during the race but the effort that was put in to make this race or even camp to happen is a lot a lot. Secondly, Dialogue in the dark really strikes me. For 1 hour or so, we are able to experience the world that blind people lives in. We are able to enter a pitch dark room, a really pitch dark room that we can't see anything and experience daily life of blind people. It must be really really hard on them.

These few days, I was really tired. I took a cab home after going back to HQ to help and fell asleep which was the last thing I will do when i take taxi cause taxi drivers may go in circles, but fortunately it didn't happened =)

Today is the last day of 2010, let's do some reflections this year ...

I don't know if I should say this but i shouldn't say ! HA !

This year in my leadership was a totally different thing as I am a graduate from my secondary school, a lot of things change, from someone who take instructions to become someone who give instructions. From someone who runs events to become someone who facilitate or even plan from the stretch. This explains the ultra tiredness when I have classes to attend and the secondary school are having their holidays cause major events for them falls on their holidays ~

For my life, I realised I have been closing or shying away from some issues that i used to care a lot. I started to take up long distance runs which is good !

Just recently, I visited her blog again, for don't know what reason, i just went in and found out that somehow , i think she was shooting me again but great she live her life the way she wanted I guess... I shall say now, TIME FOR ME TO MOVE ON ! and and let nature take it course, i shall not rush into things ever again =(

I hasn't changed but rather I shall say I have to adapt to the situation.

At one point of time, I have to agree to Candis that ... 2010 isn't a great year afterall, so much negative things strike me ...

Let's hope 2011 will be a better year for me! Happy New Year everyone =)

Countdown @ Marina Bay later!

2010-12-25T22:31:00.006+08:00

Merry Christmas everybody! Town yesterday, it was flooded with people and the atmosphere was great, just love the decorations and lighting over there and it is a Christmas Eve in Summer while today is a stormy one!

Tweeting when the clock strike 12am, "Looking at the negative side is that I will never meet her for the day I set aside for her, not anymore, but why be sad?!" Maybe I shouldn't think of stuff like that anymore, it's gone , is gone =)

Was serving at BBSG the past few days and the experience was great, but i especially dislike people shutting down like seriously shutting down when there are still things to be done. Sometimes I will ask myself, "Why must I do?" and the answer is clear, Because if I don't do, who do?

The few days will be tired to the max having to finish the project and then follow by a camp back to back leaving little or no time to rest ! AHHH ~ The only thing I am looking forward to is ... COUNTDOWN 2011 !

2010-12-19T20:33:00.006+08:00

My pace of running today is so not consistent !

I don't know why I am so looking to Christmas this year more than any other years and ... it's 5 days to Christmas' Eve!

However, this year's Christmas have a significant meaning, a date that will never happened. The incident happened nearly a month ago but I don't know why, but it's still haunting me even today.

Yesterday was happy hour! I was at my friends' house and was bored so decided to visit her blog for the first time in a long while, she is living her life perfectly well just like how it was before. Make a firm decision to delete her contact to prevent something. Cause the night was a Drink. Drank. Drunk. Vomit. Sleep !

Somehow, today when i run finish , I thought to myself. Did I change? Change to become a little uncaring of things that is happening around me? I believe I did, after that incident, it changed me. Why did I let this kind of thing affect me...

2010-12-15T22:29:00.002+08:00

I booked an appointment for treatment for my face already, I am soooo happy!

Went out with Mum after class today to IMM for a trip to M1 to settle my blackberry service plan, after that went for shopping! Although didn't get my speakers, however I got a pair of X-mini Max II ! It was great to own one especially during outings when you need them most!

The service over at Challenger was a nightmare man!

I am sick, doesn't feel good these few days with no appetite! 2 more days to go before holidays and once again, holidays are just rest from classes but not rest for me !

2010-12-14T13:14:00.001+08:00

Credits : Stomp.com.sg

2010-12-13T20:28:00.010+08:00

The Boys' Brigade Share A Gift, Car Flag-Off 2 on 11.12.10

Somehow, a body was found in the reservoir at that time.

A Christmas Stollen !

Was at the Car Flag off last Saturday and my duty was to direct the traffic going in to the garage
to pick up their hampers to deliver, there were a few (car) teams which came and everybody is doing their part in the name of charity! Some came as a group of friends while some came with family, I felt it was a very meaningful event!

Having to stand under the hot Sun, I don't mind actually!

Holidays are coming soon , in just 4 more days to go! However, my holidays will be busy running from places to places for events and for camps and for work, to think that next year, going back to school will be the start of the second understanding test ... CUI !

I decided to reopen my blog after a few requests, I lock my blog for some reasons, but it doesn't matter anymore =)

2010-12-09T11:34:00.002+08:00

Don't say I am not committed to my organisation I belongs to , if not ........ evil laughs*

Sacrifice is the word .

2010-12-08T23:08:00.002+08:00

"Twitter? ..... nope. Facebook Status ? ..... nope .... BLOG ! "

I guess here is a place that "For me to know, for you to find out" , I don't want to post anymore updates in Twitter or Facebook, is like telling the whole world, not any time now ...

Got so much thinking going on, but shall not share.

I pushed away all my events/projects starting January next year with a purpose in mind, but I guess the purpose is no longer there. I think I have being too nice sometimes already that I felt I am even taking advantage of myself.

I am nothing, no more. It's time for me to go back to my own life, not for one but many. My own Sports and events and projects and Boys Brigade and Fajar Secondary and many more else thing. I am going in there and make myself useful.

"I live my life to be a great help for others, not knowing I am helpless to my own"

Maybe, sometimes .... I really got to pray , and seek God's advise ...

2010-12-08T17:50:00.003+08:00

It happened again , but this time round... I guess, time for me to move on. For the next few months, I will be drown in events and projects and I think I have no time for myself. I believe is for her own good also.

Returned back for classes today after a 5 + 1 day BB International Camp, Singapore Boys' Brigade 80th anniversary camp - Camp Temasak 5 . I enjoyed very much being part of the (FSS)Fire/Safety/Security Team, it was very exciting and enjoyable doing what I like to do. The jokes on the dining table and everything. Although, the team have to play the bad people in the camp, but we don't do , who's going to do it?

Seeing the boys and girls enjoying the camp just meant a lot to me, in fact to all of us, the organising committee and volunteers. Just think of how many relationship and the bond created after this camp.

For myself, I have definitely got to know more primers and officers from all over Singapore! How I wish the camp can be longer, I was cut off from outside world, almost totally. Being in hosted in the Army camp, I used another non-camera phone which can only save up to 40 messages and i prefer making calls cause using the phone to message is totally a very frustrating task.

Back to routine everyday, asking myself. What is life? I guess, I have no answer for this question now. Back to a life with boredom and no motivation and objective. Only thought now is 10 days to holidays ! Wish means Projects, events and most of all Christmas Day with my brothers and New Year !

2010-11-26T23:15:00.005+08:00

Password Please! - Locked Post

2010-11-26T01:23:00.004+08:00

Password Please! - Locked Post

2010-11-25T09:16:00.002+08:00

What a big pest that someone uses pesticide to "kill" it.

2010-11-19T22:24:00.003+08:00

[Post Deleted]

2010-11-09T23:00:00.002+08:00

RP have been getting in the headlines for the wrong reasons for this season and same goes to Sports School which just had another one on Food Poisoning. Wanted to elaborate on this topic but it's not wise to do so!

Time to reflect for myself...

Being some time since I blog, Had no time for myself recently and fallen ill since last Friday till now. Results hasn't been good since the start of Sem 2, As are rare to me now ... super ...

I guess I have too many commitments and I decided to make a firm decision already. Once, somebody dear to me asked .. "How much time do you stay at home?"It took me very long to respond to the question, in fact, I didn't really answer it ...

Come to think of it, I really hasn't had much time for myself.

I am in all these now is because of past commitments, and was once a Leader for many groups/organisations, I know clearly that leadership is a never ending thing. However, one important fact that I was able to manage my time well was, everybody knows me in that school and balancing time wasn't a problem to me, but now. I am no longer a student of that school, I was once.

I want to make some things clear now, I know it's very unlikely for me to say this, very irresponsible and such but in future when I look back, it's a mature decision.

I am tired of explaining to one organisation which I can't make it for when I am in another organisation attending the events/meeting. Very tired and stress, I found that I have no time for myself ...

I need a break, be it short or long, I just need a break from all these. I know it will never be the same when I decided to return and it has proven to be.

I may not be able to get it back once I let go... But

I am going to give up everything, for now ................

2010-10-27T22:35:00.003+08:00

was 5km , now 10km run, COMPLETE. NEXT , 21KM !

Complete the Nike Human Race last Sunday, 24 October 2010! Was very pleased to be able to complete the race within an hour. Greatly due to the haze that week, my outdoor activities have to be cut down, and training runs will definitely be a no go. So, HAPPY !

Still remembering, I started to sprint at the (left)750m mark and was burn when it left 200m, everybody was just zooming pass me, saw the finishing line and the clock, my eyes is set on it, I don't want it to cross 00:59:59, I sprint with my last bit of energy over to the finishing line and was burned, my legs when soft and nearly black out ... I remember banging into the photographer !

I guess this few days or for the past few weeks, I was super tied down with all my commitments, like suddenly, all my commitments having events and all super co-incidentally clash. Unfortunately, Mum is out of town and housework is at my need-to-do-list.

I think my commitments in secondary school was the peak for now especially during the transition period of sec 3 - 4 but it was still manageable. Recently, the word "priority" was refreshed in me during one of the meetings and till now, I was still very much affected. I know my time management sucks now. Usually when clashes happens, I will rank it with the importance level, which event booked me first or which dateline is closer. But now, everything is important and are short projects. Sometimes, people will just ask me, you can push them away. It's not that I don't want to. In fact, I didn't go for a lot of events already and one of them is NDP motivators, I wanted to go for the next year one so much. I did sacrificed my a lot of personal time for volunteering and such. Even going to gym, running, cycling, swimming and my own stuff, which I pick up and go hard on during the holidays I forsake them already. When I am able to manage my time well, nobody seems to be praising me and when I can't, everybody starts to question and I have to explain myself for those events I have to miss. It's not as if I pon for myself, but for other event which I think is more important.

Sometimes, I will really want to ask those who confront me, "Give it a serious thought, If you were me, what will you do?" Easy for everybody to say... "Don't go for the other one, come for this one"

Ya right, I am the one facing the music.

2010-10-20T22:51:00.010+08:00

Went to FINA/Arena Swimming World Cup 2010 over the weekends and the exposure was great. I love sporting events!

Everybody seems to be talking about Poly ranking, it's from an unknown source though! But really please that RP is 3rd now, we just need a matter of time to climb up with our "unique" system huh!

I have started the new semester with this new class with my totally wrong mindset. However, I guess I will not be changing and will be counting down these 15 weeks. 13 weeks to go!

Anyway, I once said and still remember till this point of time that I want to have a girl, that one girl. that will become my wife one day. The one and only =)

2010-10-20T11:56:00.002+08:00

I very much wanted to go school today, but woke up with a still having the feeling of "heavy" throat and decided not to go, furthermore, MC ends today and I don't want to spread virus to my classmates =D

Had been sick since Saturday's night and it worsen yesterday, then went to see the doctor. It have been so long since I am sick! healthy me =D

Ever since school started, have been sleeping less than 6 hours a day, and 3 hours on Friday when i have to wash the clothes twice and hang them to dry!

Yesterday, rot at home was pure bored. I meant, everyday at home is boring one. So, after seeing the doctor yesterday, went home and do housework. Mum is out of town and somebody got to do it. So I Vacuum the floor, mop the floor, slept, then wash the clothes =D

School started on Tuesday and I have got 1 A , 2 B , 2 C for my daily grade. It's super demoralizing to get this result for my first week of school. Especially for cognitive, never for once I got a C , it was my favourite module.

This term I got the following modules, and let me set my expectation for it !

Cognitive Processes and Problem Solving II
First problem got C already, like I say, it was very demoralizing. I want my As back!

Engineering Design
It's a strict module. Something like DnT, but new terms and stuffs was introduced. The faci is strict and I don't really like him. Hope to do well for the 3 practical projects!

Mathematics II
I got C for the first problem, it's really turf. I still can't get used to the class culture. Remembered that last time when we have difficulties, the faci will guide us and classmates will help us along . I hope I can get a pass for this.

Introduction to Communication Practice
The faci was great, he made the class very enjoyable. Hope to put what I learnt and what is going to be taught into useful tools in the future.

Physics
Not too bad! Faci is very nice and 1st problem is still manageable. Got to get a Avg Bs for this module!

Share more in my next post, going to die already ~

2010-10-11T00:18:00.003+08:00

10/10/10, what a day for me!

Went to airport to send off mum, and 3 weeks the house will be under my care and I will be fully independent! After that, went for swimming , home , run the 6 km route. Couldn't complete it with the intense heat and the pain in my foot. Went for treatment, they suck out 2 bottles of my blood can ! Joint infection ~

Went to find friends for dinner and hang out, spilled the drink in the cafe and then after that my friend spilled drink ! on me :D

What a day, right ?

2010-10-09T21:02:00.003+08:00

我们都败了，败给钱.

Had been working for past 2 days for like nearly 15 hours each day from morning till late into the night. I am sooooo tired ! Results was out on Wednesday and it came a little lower than my expected. Timetable was out yesterday and all i feel was, don't feel like going back for classes!

New modules, new class, new class culture, everything is gonna be so different!

Mum's going overseas tomorrow early morning and scheduled to come back 3 weeks later and the house will be under my care with a lot of housework and such.

12 more days to Nike 10k Human Race! Intense self-training coming up!

[Add-on]
Over the time, I realised I have begin caring lesser and lesser about things happening around me. Getting less involved in so much things. Sometimes, just to hide from being hurt and troubles and trouble over troubles. Simple life, BEST ?

2010-10-03T01:31:00.003+08:00

I am going to share about my feelings after reading The Straits times for yesterday.

It was kind of sad to see a young fellow Singaporean killed in London hit-and-run crash. What sadden me most was she died tragically when the driver did not stopped but was dragged about a 1.6km. What was the driver even thinking, a simple death penalty will let him die too easily man!

Following up is LATA director-general and chief executive officer Giovnni Bisignani visited MM Lee Kuan Yew yesterday afternoon @ SGH. MM Lee was admitted on Wednesday for treatment of a chest infection . While looking at this, news of Mrs Lee – wife of Singapore’s founding father Lee Kuan Yew and mother of PM Lee Hsien Loong – has died on Saturday at the age of 89 spread throughout the internet .

Next is DPM Teo commenting on the Apache Emergency Landing @ Woodlands. The heading of the news say is all "Pilots acted correctly". I don't find any wrong of them making the emergency landing which didn't cause any fire which may further damage the structure or injury. They did great and people are at there complaining. Do understand that no pilots will want to land outside of airport yo!

AND Next which caught my attention. "By journey's end yesterday morning, all 3,078 recruits had finished their rite of passage - the nine-hour, 24-km route march. They were now privates, as they stood to attention in a ceremony at Marina Bay's floating platform" Cool siol! Having to break the tradition of having the POP at City!

To that , END !

2010-09-30T00:33:00.002+08:00

Outing today with Sand,Lian,Grace,Ling! Photos @ FB !

I started to feel that I am not what I used to be, turning from good .... to better ! HAHAS !

Now I am so freedom till it become so bored sometimes. Maybe I was too tied down to so many commitments last year when I was still in Secondary School that I didn't even have time for myself. Studies, Leadership stuffs and CCA which is my Boys Brigade.

I am someone who don't like routine and maybe because of this, I like to plan and organise events which many unexpected surprises will happened and along the way, you will have to learn to deal with it. One thing I learn from a experienced officer is to treat these surprises as though it was planned.

Entering RP, I was eager to find a place for me to continue all these planning of events. I found my school club, and thought "why not?". Went to the interview and got into the club, after a couple of meetings, found that this wasn't what I thought it will be. So I quit the club ... Till now, I think I have made the right decision. There's so much happening in there right now, I heard.

After that , it's Service Learning Club ! My first event was Befriending Walk 2010, which was great =)

In my class, I have learn a lot about how to 做人 , how to live my life! There are older ones in my class and they have see and go through more than me. They took care of each another like brother and sisters! That's what I benefited most, not academically, like it always do.

Now, to be honest, I have problem going to church =( I meant , seriously I have to block out my Saturday evenings for service and like I say I don't like routine and there's obviously other reasons that hinder me to go to church. Hopefully I can overcome those and get my feet there soooon !

I think now the biggest worry is money! Teens at our age shouldn't be worrying about, but we are. Our food, our transport , our fun, our everything. My last input was like after O levels till when poly started, the money now is like drying up already and seriously need to start working soon and saved up and cut down ... I don't usually take money from Mum cause don't like to , have to support myself !

End.

2010-09-28T22:23:00.004+08:00

There's a secret behind every leader ...

I don't blog when I am tired or angry that explains why I wasn't active in blog recently.

I have alot of things prepared to share but along the way, as time goes by, I forgotten !

Let's play back from today!

Today, went to Jurong Swimming complex to play water !

Yesterday, Sports day! Swimming + Gym + Running

Sunday, I was so frustrated that I didn't get to watch F1 I was longing to watch ... and it's like the most happening one with only 15 racers able to complete!

Saturday, Befriending Walk 2010 ! Stayed over in school on Friday Night and prepared the place for the event , it was very very very tiring and tedious! During the event, I was taking care the F & B area and I was somehow very AHHHH ~ Overall, learn alot of things and see alot =)

Friday, went for a meeting for the upcoming BB National Camp, the committee is like made up of one company + myself and my friend who is now in another company. Somehow, I was able to see they are talking with their eyes, and after the end of the meeting , I stayed there for a little while and one guy from the group message to another, then the officer was like saying "If nothing else, you all may go...." I somehow can affirm that they are talking with the eyes! I meant, it's so obvious or maybe I am too sensitive. Seriously, I felt like an intruder man, or maybe I am too sensitive ... again.

End.

2010-09-20T23:44:00.011+08:00

Photoshop seems to be giving me problem, do not steal my photos ok!

Expedition Camp just ended not long ago, I enjoyed the process of being a mentor of the team. Shall not share any negative points much about the camp here. However, it's great first time being the team mentor, I believe I have fulfilled much of being one , taking care of them, but there's still room for improvements! Still remembered Sunday morning when I nearly fainted when reaching the last checkpoint, it's like 2 days with only 3 hours of sleep and just walking and walking and walking , I am losing focus and banging on the lorry that was parked along the way. Nothing had happened to me, Route 1, the team came in 2nd when route 2 , they came in first, completing the expedition in full. It was great, they were great. Although I have a super blur assistant group leader when he decided to turn right at the junction when he already said that he will turn left before hitting the junction. It's a very frustrating experience, but it's understandable, everybody is tired and not in the right mind to think properly.

I am relived I had brought the appropriate attitude to the camp, doesn't mean appropriate is the correct one though ...

Ever since the start of the holidays , it's jam packed with activities ! Swimming and Gym is on my list now other than running. Visiting the gym is not as regular as the others but soon it will be. Last week, went for late night steam boat with friends , and Jalan Raya with Sec 4 classmates / schoolmates !

Using Facebook & Twitter can be hazardous at times. Sometimes, I felt really empty in my life. I don't felt belong , struck neither here nor there. Knowing the truth can be very hurting and like felt betrayed. These feelings ....

It's better to not know so much than knowing too much ...

2010-09-14T19:43:00.003+08:00

It's going to rain big time tonight and this will meant a perfect sleep under the big comfy and warm blanket =)

Went for a swim @ the newly opened BP Swimming Complex today this morning ALONE ! The facilities were definitely great as they were new but just a little smaller than other sports complexes.

Yesterday went for a game of pool with classmates after UT @ AMK.

UT3 has finally ended and brings the official closure of sem 1. One month of holiday starts today! Let's reflect on the past 16 weeks of Polytechnic life ! Probably, next time ...

2010-09-11T00:33:00.008+08:00

This blog post was meant to be written last night, but a UFO- bug/cockroach scared the hell out of me when it appear out of nowhere, when I was in the living room. I jumped out of the sofa to the extend I pulled my back muscles !

This morning when I was on my way back to campus, I nearly got banged by a car. Or rather, no at all but he honked me when I was not at the wrong. I was crossing the road when I saw this lorry turning in, and I wanted to dash across but I saw this car coming out at the same time, so I stopped abruptly and take a step back off the road. It was after this that he honked at me! I hate cars who honked at me, the driver even stared at me. I was like "you think you got car, big deal ah!" Remembered the last time when a car honked at me when I was cycling and I was in no position of in his way. Some Singaporeans are just ....... irritating !

I bought my Nike+ sports band at half price couple of days ago! Had this benefit because i signed up for the Nike Human Race 10k! Didn't get the full set which includes the shoes because I am having financial crisis! Guess have to wait for awhile before i replace my wore out shoes. I have got lots of things to buy but when money come into play ...

Friday was Hari Raya ! Every year, on the eve of Hari Raya, my malay neighbour will treat us some yummmy foooooood ! This year , decided to take some photos of the pastries :D It's nice yo! Food Photography is difficult !

For the past few weeks, have been reflecting on some stuffs, guess will share it tonight or some other time...

2010-09-05T20:40:00.003+08:00

Test Test Test Test ! Life as a student is full of test and examinations.

I will be having my exam tomorrow and it will end next Monday with a break on Friday. Finally finished revision on Programming today. Enterprise did glance through a little, it's a ~~fail~~ module with a failed Facilitator. Cognitive(Problem Solving) all set, and maybe good to go ?

I am really very fortunate to entered RP with a class, personally I felt that there doesn't have so much open competitions on results, the stress isn't there, I believe =)

Talking about stress! O levels period, it grows on the forehead , now it grows on the chin. Wait till i have enough money... evil laughs*

Anyway, I don't like 987Fm new programs lineup ! Muttons have been moved to 4-8pm, and 8-12pm's program I am still fine with it. However , after 12midnight one is totally =.= , I find the Celebrity Birthday phone call totally speechless and irritating. Don't find it funny at all!

Must do things after UT !

Cycling trip!
Swimming! (The Bukit Panjang Swimming Complex opens today!)
And lots more!

Don't like the feeling of been left out ...

2010-08-31T00:19:00.003+08:00

Unlucky Days. Thighs muscle pull , injured. Tired and Stretched.

Yesterday while on the way back home, crossing the traffic light , I got bang by a cyclist =.= At first, I thought someone stepped on me. However, moments later, the wheels of the tire came rolling up my legs. It was a very sharp pain. I get very irritated when people step on my slippers, furthermore , it was quite a new pair i bought recently.

Secondly, I am a cyclist myself, I know the rules, I know the etiquette. It's illegal to cycle on walkway and it's rude to have your bell sounding when people block your way. If you decided to cycle on pavement, you find your way and not ask people to give way to you.

Linking to this , an incident happened to me yet again while I was taking the LRT today. It was peak hour at around 6.30pm, so the LRT was rather packed. There was this human being, talking on phone and is like so irritating the voice. That human being got off, saying "excuse me" in a very &%#$@ way.

So I got off the train standing outside, and got back in. At this moment , there is this old uncle who seems to be hesitating to get off the train. Obviously , I didn't wait for him to get off, I went back in. At this time, he got out and I suppose accidentally kicking me. He "aiyooooo" me and stood there and I know he wanted to scold me, I gave a very very fierce stare that I didn't gave for a very long time. I meant , WTF la, seriously. TYPICAL SINGAPOREANS.

This week set aside for my studies, haven't had much time to do so last 2 weeks when family issues arise and was drowned in innocently. Don't have to go to the East anymore ! until after my exams =/

Going to revise my Enterprise module now, event dry run later on . AH !

2010-08-29T02:53:00.002+08:00

Just ended my revision 20 mins ago ...

After a hectic week that had past, I finally got started studying for my upcoming test. My schedule was pushed back after family issues that I need to see to since 18 August, last Wednesday. Have been canceling all my outings and such. I don't see the point in here , it's like ... I shouldn't be drag into this.

Left one week to cover my revision and I am like so tired already!

2010-08-24T20:27:00.003+08:00

Wanted to lock this post, but nevermind =)

Ever since last Wednesday, I have being attending to a family issue and find no time for myself. The case had not end and I have being travelling up to the East since yesterday. Just hope it end it sooooooon !

Going to study for UT 3 from today and need to cut down my games, opps !

2010-08-20T19:31:00.001+08:00

The result for the North West Run is out! I am in the top 50, although it doesn't mean anything but still Happy happy. The Champion is fast! He completed the race within 20 minutes!

First week of holidays coming to an end soon and I am dead bored at home with nothing really better to do. Still love secondary school life sometimes when I remembered having little time to rest and going back to school almost everyday!

2010-08-19T01:27:00.005+08:00

I am still up so late at this time! I will turn in after this post.

Last Saturday, went for my very first long distance run, North West Run 2010. I ran a total of 5km for 34mins. Thanks ShiQi for accompany me! =) Next challenge will be 10km!

These few days rot at home and kind of miss going to classes, spending time with my friends! 15 weeks ended kind of fast!

This 3 weeks is YOG holiday and after that will be my Examination! This week will be enjoyment, gaming and such, next week will be slowly into studying and final week before exam will be full study! Can't believe that ... I am back to maple again! HAHAS !

Day 5 into YOG and Sinagapore had a Bronze and Silver Medal, goooood job

MRT Services Disruption!

Coming 4 & 5 September 2010 , LTA will install the turnout on the EB track. During this period, only the train services between Jurong East and Clementi Stations will be disrupted.

AND 18 & 19 September, LTA will install the turnouts on the NB and SB tracks. During this period, only the train services between Jurong East and Bukit Batok Stations will be disrupted.
- LTA
Click for more information & Full Version

Something is hindering me not to go for the class chalet, AH !

Let it end before it get worst ...

2010-08-13T00:09:00.004+08:00

Today the JYOF is at South West District and I am so excited to see the torch live and I am really excited to see it. Just 2 days ago, a 12 year old kid hits the headlines as he follows the
torch!

"Soaked by the rain, Youth Olympic Games fan Low Wei Jie, 12, ran 15km yesterday to take pictures of torchbearers in the flame relay. It took a while before everyone noticed the unknown boy who became the day's surprise star." - Straits Time

He is really something! He didn't get the headlines because he extinguish the flame or something but something good? But I admire this young kid passion! He will be one of the torch bearer for later on, and it's central district of Singapore , which will covers Orchard area and he will be getting a new camera and and tickets for his family for something, this is awesome man!

When you decided to give up one to focus on another, then you realise that she is then not interested in you at all. Just then you find out that the first one is attached.
That feeling, speechless ...
Doesn't meant that I want to go back to the first ...

2010-08-11T23:13:00.006+08:00

National Day Parade 2010

NDP 2010 have come to an end on National Day, but the friends made are forever. Through this few months of training and rehearsals, I have made some very good friends. And my dear partner, Siyun! I am so going to miss making balloons, going to get food and drinks from Old Chang Kee, Mr Bean and Milo truck!

Joining NDP will meant that I have to leave BB for a period of time as the trainings and rehearsals are all on Saturdays. I know that this decision is going to have cause me a lot of troubles, true enough , it did.

For the past few days, I have no time for blogs. There were just so much things to do. Things like training for my 5km run this weekend, editing video and burning them to DVDs. There were so much problems that I encountered, so many that I have to spent so much time finding solutions and getting very very frustrated. The programs is giving me so many problems even burning the disc, I am at the 6th disc and the program just keep crushing, do you know how frustrating it is to having redo and redo and redo something and there are stress coming all around the place thinking that this task have been drag for 1 entire month.

Sem 1 is coming to an end soon, this Friday will be our last time being together as W14R, I am very sure I will miss this class and the people.

For the past 2 days, I missed my class due to some reasons. The long weekend and having missing 2 days of class had shown something true enough and proven it all. Time to let go of this and move on ... AND My grades for week 10 - 15 generally being deteriorating , super sian one!

Today was suppose to attend the JOYF @ RP and I decided to give it a miss after hearing that Students will be separated into schools and SEG will be taken care of by the club I was in. 1 cE point gone.I quit the club for a reason and I will never want to see them or have contact with them again. Giving me stares is enough when I did nothing wrong to them. This really gave me a phobia of many things. Part of it , I had also decided not to take up and committee position in my current club, I don't want to and I am someone who don't like to offend people or put people into difficult position.

Guess, I should really look at the positive side of life now ?

2010-08-11T23:13:00.001+08:00

Only Heaven Knows
by Jimmy Bondoc

She's always on my mind
By the time i wake up 'til i close my eyes
She's everywhere i go, she's all i know
Though she's so far away
It just keeps getting stronger every day
So tell me where do i stop cause it's breaking my heart
Don't want to let her go

[chorus]
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
Maybe our hearts will find their way
And only heaven knows
And all i can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows

My friends keep telling me
That if you really love her, you've gotta set her free
If she returns in kind
I know she's mine
But tell me where do i start
'Cause it's breaking my heart
Don't want to let her go

[chorus]
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
Maybe our hearts will find their way
And only heaven knows
And all i can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows

Why i live in despair
Cause why do we go dreaming
I know she's never there
And all the time i act so brave, i'm shaking inside
Why does it hurt me so

[chorus]
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
Maybe our hearts will find their way
But only heaven knows
And all i can do, is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows.....

Heaven knows.......

2010-08-03T23:12:00.003+08:00

I came across this FB page a couple of days ago, it was created by some guy who obviously have no life. I assumed that he created that account just to create this fan page, what can you read from this ?

As a Singaporean, shouldn't we be proud that we are able to host a world-wide event? Furthermore, it's the First ever Inaugural Youth Olympics Games. Visiting Stomp and see how people complain and make a big deal out of little inconvenience to them like YOG buses with "Give Way" prints. I meant, what's wrong with it ?

Saying about Stomp, I guess people had really misused the platform for people to report the little happenings and used it as though it is a "General Complain Portal" =.=

Something to say against this ? Sorry then, I just want you to know I am someone who love Singapore, it's my nation, my homeland.

2010-07-31T00:51:00.003+08:00

I got 2 As when I said I was longing for As , but was deduced 0.5 GPA cause late for class!
Got F because I left class early that day, I really can't stand the facilitator anymore and the comment he gave sometimes really pissed me off. My senior said that if I leave before presentation, submitted my RJ , I shouldn't be given an F. The A101- Science module, I was given C again, that's one of the reason why I partial yesterday. I was very unhappy cause I did put in alot of effort last week ...

Here's the F comment[Abstract]
"I am happy that you made effort to write the RJ-that is effort."
"there is little evidence for me to do a valid assessment and award you even a better grade."

Thanks to those people who totally spoil my day yesterday. I didn't bothered to speak cause I don't think there's a need to.

AND THANKS TO THOSE WHO REALLY BRIGHTEN MY DAY ! =)

Aaron Han

“I'm the girl.He's the guy.Its either he texts me first or we don't talk at all.”This is a phrase I see on Twitter so often.Seriously,if the girl really likes the guy,does this even matter?

Sorry That I Loved You

-Anthony Neely

“I'm the girl.He's the guy.Its either he texts me first or we don't talk at all.”
This is a phrase I see on Twitter so often.
Seriously,if the girl really likes the guy,does this even matter?